I Read a Book: Part I - Lying

I recently read Sam Harris' little book called Lying. The premise is simple, but powerful. Don't lie, ever.

The book is more a long, persuasive essay than a philosophical or ethical treatise. Rather than analyze the moral implications of dishonesty, he assesses the impact of dishonesty with an "Instant Karma" perspective. Specifically, when you lie, he considers how it directly affects you and your relationships with those around you.

He directly attacks "white lies" as arrogance. Much like Jack Nicholson in "A Few Good Men," we assume the target of the lie can't handle the truth. Most people prefer to avoid conflict than to deliver bad news, so we lie for convenience.

Harris gave an example of a friend who asked him to give his opinion of a book he'd been working on for over a year. Harris admits that it was hard to deliver the bad news, but he said that his friend soon abandoned the book to work on other projects, and he has been successful since the initial setback. He would have done his friend no favors by encouraging him to work on a book that had little to no chance of success. Instead, he redirected and redoubled his efforts on more fruitful projects. Now, his friend goes to him first when he wants an opinion, because he knows that if Harris says something is good, he's being sincere.

When you're honest, you tend to have a more open relationship with everyone around you, whether they are a casual or close acquaintance. He gave another example of re-entering the US after he'd been traveling in India and Nepal. The border guard asked if he'd he done drugs when he was abroad, and he answered yes, he'd smoked pot and tried opium. Predictably, the guard searched his bags. But he recalls that he had a long, candid conversation about his experiences on his trip, where the guard opened up to him about some of his own experiences, and that the guard was warm and pleasant throughout the search.

The question of whether to be honest is more complicated when honesty will get you in trouble in real time. If you've been drinking and driving, and a police officer pulls you over and asks if you've been drinking, and you answer honestly, you may go to jail.  But this corollary may provide additional incentive to avoid behaviors that you aren't comfortable discussing honestly with everyone around you.   It's hard to be honest with your spouse if you're unfaithful. That's just one more reason to avoid infidelity.

The book was simplistic, of course. It's easy to think of extreme counter-examples where lying would probably be beneficial in an instant karma sense. But it is also true that I have lied too often in the past for the sake of convenience. After reading this book, it's a habit I'll seek to avoid.